Colorado
Colorado, also known as New Mexico's Mongolia, is sometimes called the "Centennial State" because a lot of people there who live east of Aurora are really old. Aspen, Colorado is the capitol of the state, known for the best skiing and snowboarding in the whole nation. Aspen is God's favorite place in Colorado. Colorado's rival is Utah, but the Coloradans shouldn't worry. Mormons don't know how to play sports, and both the Utes and BYU suck, so Colorado State can never lose against Utah's army of mormons and gays. Despite protests from retired military officers in Colorado Springs who wanted it to become a Right To Work state, Colorado was admitted to the Union in 1876. Connecticut, California, and Colorado are C states. (C is for Colbert) In date of statehood, Colorado is in last place. In population, Colorado has more people than Connecticut, but not as much people as California. But Colorado is more kick-ass than both Cali and Connecticut combined! Fundamentalist Mecca Thanks to preachers like Ted Haggard and James Dobson whose Focus on Family is based there, Colorado Springs is sometimes called the Fundamentalist Mecca. Another upside of Colorado is Colfax Ave.(THAT MEANS STRIPPERS) They help bring faithiness and the Word of God to the whole country from this outpost that had been populated mostly by retired military officers, and active soldiers and airmen. Making them God's personal army, or God's soldiers, in the war against Atheist-gay-liberal bears. Colorado is a wonderful mountain state on the west side, with cities like Aspen and Vail, and the best skiing and snowboarding. On the central side, there are cities like Colorado Springs and Aurora, where there are a ton of neighborhoods, and Denver, where there is a lot of culture. On the east side, there is.... fields. Yeah, east of Aurora and Springs is just boring flat fields, giving you a message that you will soon enter the hellhole called Kansas. Military Industrial Complex Colorado's Economy Colorado Springs is the home of the largest Military Industrial Complex military communities. It houses the army and the air force, making it a very kick-ass state!! Bear-loving hippie liberals have accused the city Colorado Springs as being a very militaristic gun-ho community. Just because it houses Fort Carson, Peterson Air Force Base, Schriever Air Force Base, NORAD, the Cheyenne Mountain Air Station, and the United States Air Force Academy as well as several R&D facilities with military contracts, doesn't mean we will invade the other states any time soon... it just means that you shouldn't mess with Colorado, you hear that Utah!! Factoids * Colorado is the state Jim Carey and Jeff Daniels went to in the classic film Dumb and Dumber. * People who learn to snowboard or ski go to Aspen or Vail. * The glittering gold state capitol dome in Denver will soon be replaced by another centurylink logo. * Stargate Command is not really in Cheyenne Mountain. It's actually located next door to Fox Mulder's old apartment in Vancouver, BC (that's Canada). * It is legal to smoke Maryjane in Denver, but however was rejected by the rest of the state of Colorado. * The Broncos are located here, and it is here that their tradition of crapping on opponents fields started. * Mutopis is currently trapped living in Colorado Springs and cant get out!!! * Utah wishes they could be Colorado, but Alta isn't as good as Aspen. * Ken Buck is famous for buying Rape Kits only to be hit with buyers remorse and unable to get his money back since he never saves his receipts. * Aspen is the best place in Colorado * Vail has the 2nd best skiing in the world (behind Aspen). Vail also has the 1st best snowboarding. *ETs are real. No, really. They are! Killer Ski Slopes Colorado is noted for having "killer" ski slopes because of easy balance loss in places such as Aspen, Vail, and Breckenridge. Famous people who have died there * Sonny Bono * One of Ted Kennedy's nephews, he was a DATT (drunk all of the time) like Ted. * Kenny McCorrmick Semi-famous people who have died there * Estranged boyfriend of the ex-wife of Andy Williams, an old Barry Manilow wanna-be. Famous people who have not yet died there * Martina Navratilova * Tim Gill * James Dobson * John Kerry who skis with bears in Montana and works with Nazis in New York. A Typical Day in Colorado * Celebrating your membership in the Mile High Club. * Attempting to drive around the state whilst avoiding Boulder * Skiing * Snowboarding * Snowmobiling Joke For The Day You know why Colorado is so windy? Because Utah blows and Kansas sucks! War Against The Mooslim Tyrant * Man Coloradans are doing their part to stop this dangerous tyrant! External Links * Charitable Organizations in *Gays shuts down important Christian program! HELP, NOW I AM SURROUNDED BY GAYS! -- Mutopis *Mooslim Tyrant Takes over Colorado Government. Mutopis imprisoned by bears! *Real Coloradans Reclaims Colorado from Mooslim Tyrant! *Colorado to be at the forefront to impeach Mooslim Tyrant *Dangerous Drug Lords takes over Colorado *Colorado is home of the largest bearrorist cell *Wild Life invades Colorado *New Colorado Law to make menstruation illegal: Stop the mass genocide, biatches! *Breckenridge turns hippie... wait... it has always been hippie! *Colorado unveils truth about Obama! *Colorado taken over by stoned Hippies! *Colorado now being overrun by The Crazies *Tea Party Chooses Colorado to be "Tea Bagging Central" *Colorado turning into an islamofacist hippie gay-loving paradise! *sleeper terrorist cyclists cell targets Colorado SOMEONE GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!! *Tancredo to save Colorado *Colorado welcomes socialist utopia *Colorado welcomes their new savior: Tom Tancredo *Patriotic American fears not the libural threat *Brave Hero to fight battle alone *Lost GOP Republican finally found! *Epic Fail *Liberal takes over Colorado, help! *Colorado's new dark age *Colorado turns evil! *Vote Tea Party Republican: "Vote for us because we're not psychos" *HELP! TEH GEY IS HERE! *Rep. Cory Gardner tells lazy hippie like it is Category:Greatest Americans